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Found: June 18, 2018: keys, backyard, Serramonte DALY CITY. (daly city)

John Glenn Circle near Shipley

(google map)

On Friday morning, 22nd of June 2018 (not 2019), we found a set of various use keys in our own backyard. Sitting in front of our sliding glass door.
Location: John Glenn Circle, Daly City. Approximately the middle of the block.
Our backyard faces north, facing Lycett Park.

Do you live in the Serramonte area of Daly City? On or around John Glenn Circle? Nearby Lycett? Shipley Ave or Warwick St or Morton Dr?

B4 you go further:
We are in Daly City. That's D-A-L-Y C-I-T-Y.
Boring, crime-less, docile, servile, Schmamazon-worshipping, snootily + crabbily policed DALY CITY.
Daly City < snore >

No, we are not in San Francisco
No, not the City of San Mateo either
Not South San Francisco ("SSF")
Not Colma
Not Brisbane
Not San Bruno
Not Burlingame
Not Pacifica
Not Foster City
Not Redwood City
Not Marin
Not Sausalito
Not Oakland -- the last throng and bastion of fringe, freak-ish, freedom-fighting, social justice-seeking egalitarians
Not San Leandro
Not San Lorenzo
Not Castro Valley
Not Dublin
Not Pleasanton
Not Berkeley
Not Alameda
Not San Jose
Not Campbell
Not Fremont
Not Concord
Not Atherton
Not Kensington

Not Eureka
Not Watsonville
Not Gilroy
Not Grass Valley
Not Mystery Spot, Santa Cruz
Not King City
Not Yucca Valley
Not Rancho Cucamonga
Not West Sacramento
Not San Clemente
Not Pasadena
Not Malibu
Not South Central Los Angeles
Not Echo Park or Silver Lake
Not in the 90210

Not Detroit
Not Philly
Not Peoria, Illinois
Not Waterproof, Louisiana
Not Mosquitoville, Vermont
Not in the Bible, Rust or Sun Belts
Not Hell's Kitchen, NY
Not Hoboken, NJ
Not [D]ump Tower, 5th Avenue

Not Montreal
Not Ottawa
Not Calgary
Not Vancouver, B.C.
Not Mexico City
Not Acapulco
Not Catalina Island
Not Central America
Not Papua New Guinea
Not Kazakhstan
Not Bahrain
Not the French Riviera
Not Ghorahi, Nepal
Not the Isle of Capri
Not Yangon, Myanmar (for shame, Aung San Suu Kyi, for shame ...)
Not Toowoomba, Australia
Not Moscow
Not İnegöl, Turkey
Not Baguio, The Philippines
Not Shijiazhuang, Hebei, or Beijing, The People's Republic of China (heyyyyyy, Mainlanders, hugged a Uyghur lately? polishing up yer social credit score? shopping around for an 'appropriated' < wink, wink > vital organ?)
Not Shangri La
Not the Arctic
Not the Antarctic
Not Atlantis

Not Mong Kok Hong Kong Barcelona, Santiago, Beirut, Baghdad, Quito, Ihumātao, Nairobi, Port-au-Prince, Kinaawa, Paris, Jakarta, Ft. Worth, São Paulo (street fighting man and woman and everything in between!!! – Much love and a thousand cheers to all our engaged, enraged, brave resister brethren rebelling against the shameless oppressors around the world! Next stop: Xinjiang! Winnie the Xi-Pooh can't hold back 50,000,000 sweet honey pot-toting humanists crashing the gates of "re-education camp"-hell, unshackling the shackled – viva East Turkestan, baby!)

What about ...
Ogbomosho, Nigeria
Olmaliq, Uzbekistan
or ...
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso?
No, no and no.

Oxnard, CA? NEIN.

Just: Deathly, dull Daly City.

2 things:

1. The way in which these keys were "packaged" is distinctive;
2. We're 99.9% confident that the keys were n-o-t schlepped here by homo sapiens. Seriously, not a human. Think: furry, free spirited, anarchic beasts who could not care less about your luxurious vehicle, your beautiful, newly remodeled abode, your locked-up Le Creuset 10-piece stoneware set, your decadent, petit bourgeois lifestyle.

So you lost your keys in June 2018 in the drudgery capital of the bay area, Daly City?
And your description of the keys and of the packaging matches ours?
And how you think you lost your keys matches our account?
Kool, let's meet up.

Or, if you just wanna haaaaanng and slack off all day in defiant camaraderie, shooting colon torpedoes at the neo-liberal, neo-conservative, old-skool/19th c. archetype Russian strongman, extra-judicial assassinating and 21st c. totalitarianist maaaaan, well, shore, hit us up.

"To steal from a brother or sister is evil. To NOT steal from the institutions that are the pillars of the Pig Empire is equally immoral."
~ Abbie Hoffman
  • do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

post id: 7018436778



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